The ability to get what you want out of life

We live in a world where change is no longer the exception. It is the rule.

And yet, uncertainty is still one of the things we resist the most.

In Episode 112 of Insights, I wanted to slow this conversation right down and look at something I believe sits at the heart of creating a meaningful life. Not success as a concept. Not achievement as a badge. But the ability to actually get the life you want.

That ability, I believe, comes down to how we relate to uncertainty.

A different way to think about intelligence

For most of my life, intelligence was measured in the usual ways. IQ. Qualifications. Knowledge. Being “smart”.

Then I came across a definition by Naval Ravikant that stopped me in my tracks. He defined intelligence as:

“The ability to get what you want out of life.”

I remember sitting with that and realising how confronting it really is.

Because if that is true, then intelligence is not static. It is not something you either have or do not have. It is something that evolves. It is shaped by how we respond to change, discomfort, fear, and the unknown.

And when I look at my own life, and the lives of the people I coach, the biggest gap is rarely capability. It is clarity. And clarity does not come from thinking harder. It comes from engaging with uncertainty rather than avoiding it.

The 80/20 rule and the overlooked ten percent

Most people are familiar with the 80/20 rule. Eighty percent of outcomes come from twenty percent of effort.

But over the years, I have noticed something even more interesting.

In many areas of life, it is closer to ten percent of what we do that produces ninety percent of the results.

I often use a simple personal example to explain this.

My Jeep is made up of thousands of parts. But if I lose the key fob, one tiny component, the entire vehicle becomes useless. That one percent has a disproportionate impact on the whole journey.

Life works the same way.

There are small shifts in mindset, behaviour, or courage that unlock massive change. And one of the biggest of those shifts is how we relate to uncertainty.

Emotional fitness and our relationship with the unknown

This is where emotional fitness comes in.

Emotional fitness is not about feeling good all the time. It is about our capacity to stay present, responsive, and grounded when things feel unclear or uncomfortable.

In my experience, most people struggle to articulate what they actually want. They know what they do not want. They know what they are tired of. But when asked what they are moving toward, there is often silence.

I have been there myself.

Years ago, I was in a job I genuinely disliked. I did not have a clear alternative mapped out. I did not know exactly what the next step would look like. But I did know one thing. Staying still was costing me more than moving into the unknown.

It was only through action that clarity arrived. Not before.

That is something I see again and again. We wait for certainty before we move. But certainty often only comes after we move.

Fear is not the enemy

One of the biggest shifts I wanted to offer in this episode is a different way of looking at fear.

Fear is not a stop sign.

It is a signal.

Fear tells us we are standing at the edge of something unfamiliar. Something that has the potential to stretch us. To grow us. To change us.

The people I see who remain stuck are not less capable. They are not less intelligent. They simply treat fear as a reason to pause indefinitely.

I often describe this difference as drifters and the driven.

Drifters allow life to happen to them. Driven people engage with life. They do not eliminate fear. They learn how to move with it.

Building a mature relationship with uncertainty

If there is one thing I hope lands from this conversation, it is this.

You do not need to eliminate uncertainty to live well. You need a mature relationship with it.

Uncertainty is not a flaw in the system. It is the system.

Growth requires it. Expansion demands it. Meaning is shaped through it.

When we avoid uncertainty, we avoid the very conditions that allow us to become more than we are today.

And when we learn to work with it, when we build emotional fitness, when we take action even without perfect clarity, that is when life begins to open up.

The real leverage point

If ten percent of our actions create ninety percent of our results, then our relationship with uncertainty may be one of the most powerful leverage points we have.

It shapes our decisions. Our courage. Our willingness to try, to fail, to adjust, and to grow.

As Marston once said, “What you do today can improve all your tomorrows.”

If you want a different life, a more aligned life, a more meaningful one, start there.

Not by demanding certainty.
But by stepping forward anyway.

Thank you for reading.

Love
Joe