The Clarity Trap

Clarity is misunderstood. We will never have clarity of what our future may bring. So many people are fascinated with the future. Nobody knows what is going to happen. Even in the professional industries relating to economics, property and share markets, nobody can predict what is going to happen. ‘Oh but Joe, I have read many articles over time, when experts have claimed they got it right!’ Well, if we continue projecting many views of what the future may bring a dart will eventually hit to the bullseye, as I discovered playing darts with Nicolas, my 10-year-old son. If we throw enough of them, one would strike the middle of the board. Just like the lottery, all the numbers will be picked at some point, sometime.

To avoid the clarity trap, we need to understand what clarity is and what it is not. We need to also know to understand how clarity actually works.

Given, we will never have clarity of the content of our future, in other words, how the future roles out in detail. For example, we don’t know how our health will be, or how our relationships will be, or what will be doing for a living or career and so on. I can hear my ego voices arguing saying, things like ‘I am in control of my life! I look after my self so, my health will be fine! I enjoy my career and I’ll do this for the rest of my life! And my friends love me and I love them so they are not going anywhere!’

How many times do we hear of completely healthy people attracting terminal illnesses, being let go at work or friends making decisions about their lives which confound and confuse us? We all have an illusion we are in control of our lives. If we believe this to be true, we couldn’t give ourselves a bigger lie. Our lives can change in a heartbeat. Just ask any car accident victim.

The only clarity we will ever have is being clear on how to approach the whole concept of clarity! We can only see as far as our headlights can shine. Attempting to look beyond the lights will most definitely place us in overwhelm.  So many people try to figure out how it’s all going to look before we even take a solitary step.

True clarity is clarity on where we are in the journey. Truly understanding the identity shifting, perspective-altering, values transformation of the ambition to meaning journey, allow us to begin and hopefully keep having clarity on where we are at, and who we are.

Clarity only ‘comes’ when we move, take action or simply make a decision about something we care about with conviction. Having an attitude of commitment to completion, even though we don’t know what ‘completion’ even means until we ‘get’ there, and then the journey continues to the next ‘completion’ point. The human condition is wired for purpose and service. If we take away any kind of purpose or direction, or mission or quest or outcome we are seeking, and take away any ability to contribute to somebody else, or a team, or a family or a community and so on, we are on the fast track to feeling lowly, losing our spirit, and if this goes on for long enough we will feel depressed.

In other words, clarity is being on a journey, knowing where we are at in that journey of ambition to meaning.

The more we move away from ambition as a priority and the deeper we immerse into the meaning is driven world, the less our lives become about us, and the more it becomes about others.

It is when we integrate the ambition and meaning driven world that we will have ‘balance’ and clarity on who we are and where we are in the journey.

The fundamental prerequisite to any kind of clarity is movement. Have you ever gained a new or clear insight whilst doing (movement) something else, like taking a shower, going for a walk, driving, or taking specific action in the area you want to excel in? Nature demonstrates this truth anywhere we choose to look.

Near my house is an old park with a man-made lake. For many years this lake was murky, smelly and lifeless. It lacked movement, it lacked clarity. The local council then invested in water jets which looked like a water feature and yet doubled as a very effective way of creating movement. From then, the murkiness disappeared, the lifeless odours were replaced by life, beautiful sounds of birds, ducks and children. It is only when we move in any direction that we will begin creating some kind of direction.

The crucial distinction here is to move in any direction. By moving in any direction we will find the ‘right’ direction. In that same park, I noticed a mother duck and her chicks. When the mother duck stayed still, the chicks waddled about aimlessly and seemingly randomly. It is only when she takes action and moves (in any direction) that the chicks line up and follow. How many times have we heard ourselves say, well when I have my ducks lined up I will be ready to do the thing. We have it in reverse!

Trees are the same! Trees rely on the wind to help them ‘move’. When the tree ‘moves’ it creates movement in the sap. Sap to a tree is like blood to our bodies. With the wind movement, the tree receives its nutrition. This one of the many ways a tree gets to live.

Our bodies are the same. Our bodies are designed to keep moving. Without movement, the body will function less efficiently, and in the extreme of no movement, muscles wittle away. I remember when I gashed the skin around one of the knees deeply in a fall. I had to keep my leg straight for only 1 week in order for the stitches to take effect. When I regained a normal range of movement, it was astounding how much power I had lost in the muscles in the back of that leg, and that was only for one week!

Have you ever tried to rehearse an important conversation in advance? How’d that work out? They never go to ‘plan’ do they? Why? Because we are defying nature. We are trying to gain clarity before we move. The nature, purpose and quality of that conversation can only be experienced by having it and ‘see’ how it goes.

The snail trail is what the snail leaves behind. It does not wait for the trail to appear in order to gain clarity for which direction it needs to head. It just moves in any direction and the trail appears…behind it. Most people live their lives waiting for the right path or the right sign to appear first. Nothing appears until we move. Nothing happens until we have that conversation. The ducklings will only line up after mother duck moves first. Clarity only comes when we move, and the only clarity we will have is the clarity on where we are, who we are and where we seem to be headed, based on what the headlights are showing.

The ambition to meaning transition can only happen when we take some kind of action…… in any direction.