Projection…a very touchy subject

Have you ever been instantly triggered by someone for no logical reason? Have you ever found yourself overreacting to a seemingly innocuous comment? What about anger? Have you ever become overly angry about something that is a mere inconvenience?

These emotionally riddled triggers can be shocking, surprising and even downright confusing. They can take us and the people around us by complete surprise. Human behaviour is complex. It has been said that every where we go, there we are. Carl Jung once said that all perception is projection. In other words, every where we go, we can only experience aspects of ourselves. More accurately said, every where we go we can only experience aspects of our unconscious mind projecting itself onto the screen of life.  These projections can vary from inspirational experiences through to experiences we detest. 

The negatively charged experiences can become very difficult to accept when we experience in others triggers or qualities which we detest or refuse to tolerate. All projection derives from the contents of our unconscious mind. In Jung’s “Collected Works” he best described the unconscious mind as:

“ Everything of which I know, but of which I am not at the moment thinking, everything of which I was once conscious but have now forgotten, everything perceived by my senses, but not noted by my conscious mind, everything which, involuntarily and without paying attention to it, I feel, think, remember, want, and do, all the future things that are taking shape in me and will sometime come to consciousness: all this is the content of the unconscious.”

Most projections are inert, neutral perceptions of our environment; however, the biggest learning and growing opportunities are the triggered projections. This type of projection (triggered) has 3 main qualities. They are:

1. Emotional
2. Compulsive
3. Out of proportion to the situation presented.

As an example, anger is emotional (ie intense), compulsive (instant) and out of proportion to the situation (overreacting). These emotional, compulsive over reactions occur when we are projecting aspects of our unconscious which are unresolved, not embraced or we have not taken responsibility for.

In other words, these triggered responses derive from unresolved frustrations, or issues, which we have not embraced or taken responsibility for in our lives.

Often these triggers build up overtime because we are tolerating something in our lives which we should be either resolving, embracing or taking responsibility for. An example in my life, was that for many years (ie over 20 years), my father-in-law would have the pattern of raising a topic of conversation such as something happening in the world or in our lives.

He would then ask my opinion about that subject, and if he disagreed, he would laugh almost uncontrollably. Unbeknown to him, this would feel very belittling, minimising and disrespectful. Another important point here is that, this was not personal, as he did this with everyone else in the family. He would be on his best behaviour with visitors or people he barely knew. He treated strangers better than he treated the people he supposedly loved.

I tolerated this for over 20 years. I have found that whenever somebody disrespects me in any kind of small way, I become triggered and feel anger (emotional), reactive (compulsive) and over reactionary. Thankfully I am rarely in those situations.

In all fairness you may say that…”well isn’t it normal to be angry or upset at anybody who disrespects you? “ To a degree, yes, but we won’t respond in an emotional, compulsive and out of proportion manner.

Fascinatingly, only weeks before my father-in-law passed away at 85 years of age, he did the same pattern, it had been along time since I last experienced this. I felt a very strong compulsion to tell him how that makes me and others feel. I remained silent, justifying as he was unwell and seemed to be on his way out from this physical experience. I don’t believe in regrets, but I can acknowledge that was an opportunity lost to have spoken up for myself.

If a certain type pf triggered projection keeps showing up in the life episodically or thematically, it is worth posing these questions which may help heal, resolve and help you embrace specific contents of your unconscious mind.

1. For what purpose have I placed/created these experiences in my life?
2. What aspects of myself are being amplified by this person/situation which I have not acknowledged, accepted or embraced?
3. What is my role in these situations? How do I contribute to these situations?
4. In relation to this trigger, what area/s of my life have I left unresolved or not taken responsibility for?
5. If these experiences are to help me become a more loving human being, what do I need to let go of, so I can move toward love instead of fear?

All these questions point us in the right direction, but sometimes getting to the end of that road has its difficulties and adventures.

If you would like more podcasts on this topic of projection, do let me know in the comments below, or by messaging me on fb, linkedin or Instagram @joepaneinsights.

Thank you so much for listening and or reading, it is always deeply appreciated.