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Why People Pleasing is Part of Our Psychological Fabric.

Sep 15, 2023

We often hear how people share that they are ‘guilty’ being a people pleaser. People pleasing has been portrayed as being a bad thing or a negative thing.

Given that the human condition is designed to contribute to others, our most fulfilling actions are when we do something for someone else. As we know the human condition is wired to serve.

The only road I know to meaning is through contributing to someone or something bigger than us.
Making a difference or having impact or simply leaving a positive ripple effect brings us joy. Contribution also comes in the form of our attitude as well.

Smiling to a stranger in the supermarket, letting someone pass in front of you in traffic or a coffee cue, general acknowledgment of other people’s existence is all part of making a difference.

People pleasing is wired into the very core of what and who we are as human beings. Where we can run into trouble with this is when we people please to our own detriment. But this is the same...

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Transform this, transform everything.

Jun 13, 2023

Over the last 17 years, having trained well over 7000 coaches who work out in the field, delivered 1000s of hours 1:1 mentoring, coaching and guiding people from all walks of life, having delivered 1000s of trainings, shared with 100s of conferences, and delivered well in excess of 10,000 hours of group coaching, there is ONE THING that impacts your potential more than anything else.

This ONE THING will most definitely decide your success, your impact and your quality of life. This ONE THING is a big deal. How YOU deal with this ONE THING will also determine the level of impact you can make on your client’s or teams lives.

That ONE THING is the quality of your relationship with uncertainty. There are only 3 ways to deal with uncertainty and only ONE of these ways will work. This is not my opinion; it is the very nature of the journey we are all on.

Most people try to go around uncertainty. That doesn’t work.  Some people stop in the face of uncertainty and freeze,...

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Powerful Questions When In Crisis.

Apr 05, 2023

For this episode we dive deeply into the wise words of Dr David R Hawkins who shares with us how simple shifts can heal us from any crisis point we may have experienced. Life crises are choice point crises. Whether we consciously make those choices or not, either way they are being made.
Below are his wise words, taken from his wonderful book “Letting Go.”

One benefit from a life crisis is greater self-awareness. The situation is overwhelming, and we are forced to stop all of our diversionary games, take a good look at our life situation, and re-evaluate our beliefs, goals, values, and life direction. It is an opportunity to re-evaluate and let go of guilt. It is also an opportunity for a total shift in attitude. Life crises, as we pass through them, confront us with polar opposites. Shall we hate or forgive that person? Shall we learn from this experience and grow, or resent it and become bitter? Do we choose to overlook the other person’s shortcomings and our...

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The Golden Ingredient That Can Instantly Transform Your Life.

Mar 19, 2023

All of life is a continuous series of experiences. The quality of these experiences clearly influences very strongly the quality of our lives.

The quality of our lives is determined by many factors. Perhaps the most important factor is the quality of our relationships. Our relationships can absolutely amplify all our experiences. For example, watching a movie by ourselves may be an enjoyable experience.  However, watching the same movie with a friend with similar taste in movies as you, serves to make the experience even better because you can share your thoughts, opinions, and laughs and so on.

Behaviourally speaking there is one golden ingredient which seems to prove to be the glue of all relationships, especially when it comes to marriage or long-term love relationships.

This one golden ingredient is simple to apply, easy to share and does wonders for how you feel. This one key ingredient goes by many names.

Without this golden ingredient it is impossible to have a deep...

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How To Create Self Trust and Self Respect.

Oct 26, 2022

Emotional fitness is about becoming a professional giver of significance. This matters because most people have very little self respect. Self respect can be one of the most powerful and important gifts we can give ourselves. This is because self-respect provides us with clarity of boundaries, clarity of priorities and clarity of where we stand in our relationships.

Respect may also be known as significance. By embracing the notion of being a giver of significance we lay down the psychological pathway for someone to begin respecting themselves. Naturally self-respect can be defined in many ways, in this instance it is defined as valuing oneself as much as you may value anybody else you have respect for.

Self-respect matters immensely because it is a precursor to self-love. It is very difficult to be emotionally fit and well if we lack both these qualities. The next question may well be…”how do I discover, create and embrace self respect?” A great question and a...

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The SINGLE Most Important Relationship In Your Life (NOT what you may think…)

Sep 05, 2022

Decades of research into psychedelics, dating back as far as the 1950’s reveals that in most instances the experience of taking a psychedelic of some kind, significantly expands our perspective. By expanding one’s purview on life, broadening our perspective, and seeing through the stories we tell ourselves, our perception of what has happened in our lives can change very quickly. Psychedelic means ‘mind or soul revealing.’

A neuropsychopharmacologist, called Professor Robin Carhart-Harris says, “A lot of mental illness appear to be a kind of defensive reaction to uncertainty. To give oneself a kind of assuredness in the world. Even if it means developing an eating disorder which gives us control over something.” Personally, I find this astoundingly crucial to realise!!

Th starkest of contrasts is if we are trying to unlock a padlock without the key seems nigh impossible, but if we have the key, it becomes the simplest task on earth to perform....

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Why we must let go of any psychic weight (and how to do it!)

Jul 28, 2022

According to one of my favourite spiritual teachers, Caroline Myss, we are shifting from physical five sensory consciousness to an energy consciousness. Both of these levels of consciousness operate with completely different laws! It’s like the land works in very different ways to the sea. You will never find fish in the forest and you will never see sheep in the sea.

In essence, what we are talking about is chronos time and Kairos time. Chronos is linear and has a horizontal axis, whereas Kairos operates vertically and operates independent of time. The experience of chronos time is effected by our perception of our past and what we think of the future. Kairos time is completely unaffected by the past and of any perception of the future.

Chronos is quantity, Kairos is quality. Chronos is the known, Kairos is the unknown. One of many ways of accessing Kairos consciousness is by letting go of any rigid, tightly held beliefs we may have of something. By surrendering this we open...

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The Ultimate Transformational Journey – The Only Journey Worth Committing To.

May 07, 2022

We are born with a unique blueprint. It comes with no manual or guide. Most people live out their lives not knowing, or understanding or even gaining full clarity of their blueprint. This is one of the reasons people find themselves stuck in one way or another. This stuckness lacks movement and we know by observing nature that anything that doesn’t move begins to die.

When we are stuck, whether that be in procrastination, or on the wheels of self - sabotage, lacking meaningful progress, we are vulnerable to anxieties and depressive moods. The way out of this emotional energetic quagmire is by learning how our blueprint functions and what is needed for it to operate effortlessly, efficiently and beautifully.

Not knowing our blueprint is like buying mini minor and taking it on a brutal 4 wheel driving track. It seems like a ludicrous analogy but this is exactly what most people do in their lives. Because of this they cling to what they have known, often way past its used by date....

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How To Create The Clarity For What You Don’t Know You Want.

Apr 13, 2022

Most people on the planet can, with great clarity tell you what they don’t want. However, if we asked the same people what they do want, in most cases we would be met with blank stares, a vague response or most certainly would lack the same level of crystalline clarity.

Mostly, this is because what we don’t want, we have already had, and we either hated it, or we are bored of it, or a blend of both. Lots of people also remain stuck in what they don’t want. This is because of a secret addiction, an addiction to certainty.
This addiction comes in many disguises. “Better the devil you know…..” is the most common disguise. Most people would rather stay in that ordinary, relationship or job, which lacks love or any kind of joy because it its known. For most the unknown, is scarier than the known.

Ironically, the opposite is true. Given that growth is a perpetual need of the human condition, all growth is in the unknown. Staying in the known us scarier...

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Letting Go of The Reign of Perception.

Mar 23, 2022

In life, we only have one thing that we can hold onto in order to experience anything. That one thing is our perception. No human alive has direct access to reality itself (unless you are a mystic…in that case you wouldn’t be reading this!). We only have access to our perception of reality. Our perception is our interpretation of what we are seeing, hearing and feeling.

If this is so, how do we let go of the reign of perception? If we could, what would we have left? Do we want to let go of its reign? Why would we wan to let go of the reign of perception?  This all depends on how important it is for you to be or become emotionally fit. This also depends on how much you value peace and stillness. Being emotionally fit, means we can effectively navigate life’s guaranteed uncertainties. It doesn’t reduce how uncomfortable uncertainty can be, but it improves our capacity to see clearer and make wiser decisions.

The 3 layers of perception are:


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