Our 5 Universal Choice Points….Healthy Perspective Creates a Fulfilling Life.

A common problem experienced by many is suffering at the hands of their own thinking. We don’t realise that we are the creators of all our problems. This can be very difficult to see once the horse has bolted. That is, once the problem or drama has been created and being experienced we get caught up in the drama of it all and it seems ludicrous to even suggest that we created it. That is understandable.

However, we all have perfect futures. The mission is to make sure that will still don’t have the same problems in a year’s time. Sharon Pearson’s highly regarded book, “Ultimate You” encourages us strongly to replace our safe problems with risky problems.

A safe problem is unresourceful drama which holds us back and hurts us. When we are victims of our own short term thinking we create safe problems. Examples of these are procrastination, sabotage, putting on weight, playing the victim and so on. Safe problems have instant gratification. Have you ever been really nervous or even scared of a decision you need to make? I have. So what is a short term safe problem we can create for ourselves? Well I know I would clean my desk for 6 hours and justified it as well. This is classic procrastination. It’s a short -term fix for the pain (fear) I was experiencing.

On the other hand, we have risky problems. Risky problems bring growth and expansion of experiences, skillsets, and awareness. Instead of cleaning the desk for 6 hours we make the decision, commit and act. We embrace the uncertainty (adventure) risky problems bring. Risky problems can be embraced by thinking beyond the emotional experience of the moment.

So how do we change our experiences? How do we move away from safe problems and embrace risky problems? How do we shift our attention and focus from short term thinking to long term thinking? How do we move beyond our current experience?

The solution is to become aware of what I call the 5 universal choice points. There are 5 levels of awareness within which choices can be made. These 5 levels do not exist in isolation. Each level affects all the others. These choice points exist whether we are aware of them or not.

The 5 Universal Choice Points.

1. Perspective

Perspective is our big picture of life. Here are our values, what and who matters most in our lives, our general outlook and attitudes. Our philosophy of how things seem to be and what life is to us.

2. Perception

Perception is coloured by our perspective. Perception is what we will notice consciously in our environment and also what we don’t notice or delete. What we notice is our evidence to support our perspective. Remember we can only see what we are looking for and will not see what we are not looking for or don’t believe to exist or that simply is not a part of our perspective. 

3. Meaning

Our perceptions create a stage for us to become meaning-making machines. There is no meaning in anything except for what we decide to make it mean. Being rejected by a client can mean we are losers and we are having an awful day, or it can mean we are one more client closer to a yes and our day is gaining in momentum. Either way, we are right.

4. Feelings

The meaning we give to our perceptions creates feelings. Depending on what we make being rejected by a client mean, this will directly flavour how we will feel for the day. The quality of the meaning attributed affects the quality of the feeling experienced.

5. Experience.

The quality of our feelings determines the quality of our experiences. We can have a day from hell being a victim of our own thinking. If we feel we are one step closer to a client saying yes and our day is gaining momentum we feel very different to feeling like a loser when we get rejected. Feelings amplify or minimize our experiences.

For example, if we come from a place of love (perspective) our perception of others, the meaning we give to what they say and the emotion we feel will vastly change our experience of that interaction or relationship. More than likely we would trust more easily, have more patience, understanding and compassion. This way of creating deeper insight and more heartfelt conversations and connection. We flourish in our experience because of our healthy perspective.

On the other hand, if we come from a place of fear (perspective) our perception of others, the meaning we give to what they say and the emotion we will feel, will vastly change our experience of that interaction or relationship. More than likely we would be sceptical of anyone’s intention, we would be much less likely to trust anyone, which would minimise the quality or experiences of our relationships. No matter what they say.

Shift perspective, shift everything.

Emotional disruptions, upheavals and stress occur when we try to only change the micro or the detail. Focusing on changing our experiences without changing our perspective will lead to more emotional disruption. For example, by changing from a job we dislike to another job (ie changing your experience), without changing our perspective (ie attitudes, big picture view, connecting with your values) all we have created is a cosmetic change over. In other words, we have ‘changed’ things on a superficial level.

Our experiences will always be impacted by the previous 4 choice points. Most people work on changing the wrong things (experiences only) and the changing of one job to another, or one relationship to another, or one city for another, will not help them get over the emotional disruption they may be experiencing. There is nothing wrong with changing and varying up our experiences for the sake of adventure and fun, but if we are doing it to feel better about life overall it tends to not last. It’s short term and we will create many safe problems for ourselves. 

All true deeper change is created at the perspective level. At this level, we think long term and create risky problems, expanding into new skill sets, experiences, and new awareness levels. Healthy perspective contributes significantly to deepening our relationships. 

All experiences are amplified or minimised by the quality of our relationships. A healthy perspective creates a life of fulfilment.

Our experiences are directly impacted by how we feel (emotion). Emotions are created by what we make things mean. Meaning is created by what we perceive. What we perceive is directed by our perspective.

This places a deeper meaning into what you may have heard many times….we must put things (experiences) into perspective.

Thank you for taking the time. It is appreciated.