The Most Important Journey We Will Ever Take. (Excerpt from “The Emotional Fitness Formula”)

The most important journey we will ever embark on is one of ambition to meaning. This journey is hallmarked by shifting identity phases. Ultimate, long term, and the deepest growth does not come from what we do or accomplish, but from who we are becoming and evolving into. Our soul thrives on continual transformation and growth.

This journey is hallmarked by an ever-changing shift of focus and attention. This means, as we become more emotionally and spiritually mature, our lives become less about ourselves and more about others. We realise that life is not about gathering and experiencing more and more pleasure, but about connecting with deeper meaning, and sharing this with others.

Our chief desire has never been to have more pleasure, but to have more meaning. When we lack meaning, we overcompensate with more pleasure. We achieve meaning by being of value to someone else. This is the journey of ambition to meaning, the journey of a shift in priorities, also known as our values. Our values are seated at the core of our identity. Our truest values are the very flavour of our soul.

Ambition Driven World.

Psychologically and spiritually the ambition driven world is defined by completely different identity compared to the meaning driven world. This world is driven by extrinsic values determined by forces ‘out there.’ Whilst we all go through many identity phases and shifts, fundamentally there are 4 main identity stages we at some point will traverse.

Identity Phase 1.

The first two of those identity phases are in the ambition driven world. In our early days our identity was purely defined by physicality. Carl Jung referred to this as the athlete archetype. Our identity is centred around our body, how we look, talk, walk and come across to others, physically. Here we also define ourselves by our clothes, our car, our house, our image. Seated at the core of this identity phase is a driving question, which creates lots of pain. That question is; what do you think of me? Giving all power to the external world.

In essence at this stage of our identity we are defined by other’s opinions. Low self -acceptance, low self-trust and low self-worth run rampant at this level of awareness. At this stage of identity, everything looks mighty good on the outside world, but our inner world is in turmoil. There is a huge gap between these two worlds. The wider the gap the deeper our pain.

In this identity phase we are completely self -absorbed. There is only so much growth we can make here. At this stage we are addicted to more and more pleasures.

Identity Phase 2.

The second identity phase is what Jung referred to as the archetype of the warrior. This is where our identity is defined by our results. Are we winning, are we the best, the fastest, the first, and the only? Our identity here is driven by the core question, what can I get? Get the girl, get the guy, get the money, get the house, get the experience, get the results and so on.

Our warrior identity phase is still defined by external forces. We can only win if someone else loses. Our victories are at the expense of someone else.

In the ambition driven world or identity is wrapped around our ego. We don’t realise at this stage how vulnerable we are to anxiety, depression and all sorts of self- acceptance issues. This is because our identity is extrinsically defined. By comparing our physicality and results with others, we will surely go on a wild swing ranging from arrogance through to the darkest pits of ‘woe is me’.

Anxiety and depression run’s rampant in the ambition driven world. Someone once said to me, that the ambition driven world in a lot of cases can be defined as, ‘big hat, no cattle!’ In other words, what we see may not be what we get.

The Meaning Driven World.

Identity Phase 3.

This world closes the gap between the outer world and the inner world. The ambition to meaning identity shift is a significant transformation. For most of us, this is the beginning of truly looking within and awakening to the fact that our lives have never been about us. Our core driving question evolves from what do you think of me and what can I get? To…what can I give? Jung described this identity phase as the archetype of the statesman/woman.

In this third identity stage we define ourselves by our legacy. The ripple effects we leave behind. Legacy is a big word that for many has a ‘big’ connotation. Legacy here is as everyday as how we greet a stranger through to the legacy of our children, or our employees or our clients and so on. Legacy is not what we actually do. Legacy is who we are being. What does this even mean? At this stage of identity, we become increasingly aware of how other people feel. We become increasingly aware that how we talk with others, our facial expressions, having a healthy appreciation of where others may be coming from changes, the way we interact with the world.
This changes the way we walk down a supermarket aisle. We see a stranger and instead of ignoring them, we acknowledge them, with a smile or a gentle nod of the head, or simply say hello. Often the little things in life, are the big things.

Identity Phase 4.

Jung referred to this fourth stage as the archetype of spirit. This is where our core driving question transforms to ‘who am I?’ This is when we become aware that, everything we thought we were we are not. At this stage of identity, we become incredibly curious about what it is that pumps our heart, breathes our breath and sees through our eyes.

We become increasingly curious about who or what is observing every experience. We become more identified with observing our thoughts, meanings and actions. Jung referred to this stage as a preparation for death. Death of our ego. This is where we genuinely have nothing to prove and nothing to defend. This is the stage where all judgements of others and self, dissolve and are replaced with a beautific unconditional love for all living things, including the inanimate.

This is where we become a conduit of love, joy and peace into the world, ranging from the supermarket aisle through to any other wide-ranging experience we may have.

Final Thought.

We must integrate ambition into meaning. This is where we must take care of our physical bodies. We must redefine our results as the value we bring to someone else. We must become meaningfully ambitious. Think of any true hero. Mother Theresa and Martin Luther King were meaningfully ambitious. We can be meaningfully ambitious as parents, as friends, as business owners or in any role we choose. This way our soul can continue its journey of transformation and growth, whilst engaging in meaning driven actions. We must do shit to become😊.