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Boundaries boundaries boundaries!

There is a delicate balance when it comes to boundaries. There are different levels of boundaries depending on the relationship situation. How do we be ourselves at work with out oversharing or crossing lines? When or if we cross a line how do we retrace our steps? Have you ever been in a middle of a conversation and suddenly there is an awkward silence? That is the silent sound of a boundary being crossed!

Firstly, what is a boundary? There are many ways we can define this. My definition of a boundary is an awareness of which aspects of yourself is appropriate to share with someone. The way I see this is that the closer you are to someone the wider and deeper you avail aspects of yourself. The more distant you are the less of you will be available.

What does this all mean? To understand, this we need to be aware of the 5 levels of boundaries.

  1. You share activities/experiences, ideas (your life philosophy) and all values eg a best friend, a close husband/wife/love partner.
  2. You share activities/experiences, ideas and some values. Eg a very good friend, but not the first person you would call to move the body (dear me that is a strange example!).
  3. You share activities/experience, some ideas and perhaps one or two values connect you. Eg a work colleague who you only see at work, but you share an interest in cycling or something.
  4. You share activities only. Eg someone you cycle with, but your conversation rarely strays far from cycling.
  5. You have zero in common. Ie no activities or ideas let alone values. Eg people you may see once a year out of family obligation.

Hope you enjoy this post /podcast episode as we explore more deeply this insight into boundaries. Thank you so much 😊

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