How To Create Self Trust and Self Respect.

Emotional fitness is about becoming a professional giver of significance. This matters because most people have very little self respect. Self respect can be one of the most powerful and important gifts we can give ourselves. This is because self-respect provides us with clarity of boundaries, clarity of priorities and clarity of where we stand in our relationships.

Respect may also be known as significance. By embracing the notion of being a giver of significance we lay down the psychological pathway for someone to begin respecting themselves. Naturally self-respect can be defined in many ways, in this instance it is defined as valuing oneself as much as you may value anybody else you have respect for.

Self-respect matters immensely because it is a precursor to self-love. It is very difficult to be emotionally fit and well if we lack both these qualities. The next question may well be…”how do I discover, create and embrace self respect?” A great question and a very important one.

1. Becoming a professional giver of significance is most definitely one of the paths to self respect. We need to bring into the world what we would like to see in the world and in ourselves. Being a giver of significance means we, in almost all instances give respect to others. For example, allowing people in front of you in traffic or in a supermarket isle. It is uncanny how the more we take care of those around us the more our world takes care of us.

Being a giver of significance also means that when you are chatting with someone you know very well, at work or at play, that you remember what matters to them and what little joys you may be able to bring into their lives. For example, remembering how they have their coffee or juice etc.
When it comes to people we deeply care for and love, whether that be a partner, a son, daughter best friend etc we can be givers of significance by being completely present when they are speaking with us. By being completely present we make them feel significant and thus respected.

2. Another way of introducing self respect is by embracing self care. This can come in many different forms, whether that is by taking care of our bodies with some kind of nurturing treatment or by taking time out to spend some time with a dear friend, or by taking time out to be alone and spend time in nature or going to a movie or embracing a daily ritual such as meditating, or performing our favourite sport.

3. By choosing to become consistent. Firstly, let’s not confuse consistency with perfection. Consistency is far from perfection. What are we becoming consistent to? Consistency is remaining loyal to your values, loyal to what matters to you, loyal to rituals which serve you and others, loyal to becoming the next best version of yourself. Most importantly being loyal to the promises you make to yourself.

On a final note, we are continually teaching others how to treat us. The most direct and narrow path to self -respect is by giving it. Many people, unfortunately sit in front of empty fire places demanding heat (metaphorically speaking). Naturally we need to go out and find the wood first, place it in the fire place, spark the kindle and off we go.

Many people demand respect before the give it. This can only lead to frustration and difficult moments. Being emotionally fit and becoming a conscious giver of significance deepens our sense on micro joy moments, which when we have a few of these micro joy moments they can lead to changing how we perceive our day. At the end of the day that is all we really have – our perception.