If you believe in something long enough, it will harden into fact.

(3-4 minute read)

ALL beliefs are convenient assumptions. None of our beliefs are based on fact. If they were all based on fact, we would all have the same beliefs because we would all be experiencing life exactly the same way.

EVERYTHING we experience in life in ALL areas are filtered through our very own personal unconscious editing process. This editing process happens so fast most of us don't question it. Life for all of us is experienced as though what we see appears in our lives as 'that’s just how it is'. Life is never 'just how it is', life is experienced ‘just how we are.’

All of our convenient assumptions have been created by us as our interpretation of what we witness or observe or experience. Lots of our assumptions have been influenced by someone else, such as our parents or guardians or whoever we hung around lots before the age of 10. As we get older all our beliefs (assumptions) we think are true, become very real and harden into fact. If all our hardened facts stem from interpretations and assumptions we may as well create assumptions which work positively for us and hence recreate our ‘hardened facts.’

The ULTIMATE ASSUMPTION is our assumption of who we think we are, or in other words our self- concept, also known as our identity. Lying at the very core of our self -concept is the way we talk to ourselves.

Our outer world experiences are a reflection of the quality of the conversations we have with ourselves.

Our self -concept determines our destiny. That is significant to say the very least. That is a big statement. How we see ourselves affects all the nuances of our speech, our energy, our vibe, our attitude, what we notice, what we don’t notice, how appealing we are to others, how unappealing we are to others and so on. The manner which others relate to us hugely influences the quality of that relationship.

Relationships, or how well we connect with others, will determine whether we get that work, or go on that date, or make the money or have that experience and so on.

Our self -concept hugely influences what comes out of our mouth first in conversations and how we say it. This is crucial because of what David Kaheman calls (a behavioural economist psychologist specialising in judgement and decision making), the primacy effect. The primacy effect is when we take the first thing we hear someone say and colour everything else we hear with it. In other words our response to others is affected by first impressions.

We all tend to have aspects of our lives that we are either unhappy with or we know can be taken to a whole another stage. ALL areas of our lives are impacted by our self -concept BECAUSE EVERYWHERE YOU GO THERE YOU ARE. We can begin changing our self -concept with one little step at a time.

For example, just recently at one of my trainings, I was approached in a break by a woman who hadn’t smiled in years and was suffering depression.

She needed to change her self -concept, but I just can’t say to her…hey you need to change your self -concept and you’ll be right! Yeah, that would work! She said she had been ‘trying’ to get out and exercise her body just so she could move and feel better but had failed continually to go any step further than a thought about it.

In the few minutes we had together I wanted her to take a mini step in changing her self -concept. I told her, tomorrow, just put your runners on and do nothing else. Could you do that? She gave me a wry smile and said ‘yes’. I said, make sure you don’t do anything else, just put your runners on, notice how you feel, even if you want to go outside and walk or exercise, don’t do it, just put your runners on. After a little while, take them off. Then the next day do the same.

Then the next day, put your runners on and perhaps go outside and check for mail. Nothing else just that. Could you do that? ‘Yes!’ Then go back inside. Notice how different you feel, just by putting your runners on. Then the next step is to put your runners on and just walk outside for a few moments and go back inside, nothing else, just that. Don’t be tempted to go exercising, just put them on, walk around for a bit and then take them off…..and so on went our conversation. By the end of our chat she was smiling because for the first time in a long time she was accessing an aspect of herself she hadn’t noticed for a very long time. She could see possibility. Her self-concept began to shift.

The first step to any change is always awareness. Becoming aware of how we treat ourselves and talk to ourselves hugely contributes to how we are perceived. The primacy effect is happening whether we are aware of it or not.

If we believe (assume) something for long enough it will harden into fact. So be aware of what you assume. 

Thank you for taking the time to read. It is appreciated.

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