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Why People Pleasing is Part of Our Psychological Fabric.

We often hear how people share that they are ‘guilty’ being a people pleaser. People pleasing has been portrayed as being a bad thing or a negative thing.

Given that the human condition is designed to contribute to others, our most fulfilling actions are when we do something for someone else. As we know the human condition is wired to serve.

The only road I know to meaning is through contributing to someone or something bigger than us.
Making a difference or having impact or simply leaving a positive ripple effect brings us joy. Contribution also comes in the form of our attitude as well.

Smiling to a stranger in the supermarket, letting someone pass in front of you in traffic or a coffee cue, general acknowledgment of other people’s existence is all part of making a difference.

People pleasing is wired into the very core of what and who we are as human beings. Where we can run into trouble with this is when we people please to our own detriment. But this is the same problem we can have with empathy, compassion, contribution, love, and giving of any kind.

If it is done to our own detriment, it is unsustainable and becomes a personal problem. It normally only affects us negatively if we are running an agenda with our people pleasing.

If we are pleasing others so we can be seen, accepted, heard or loved, then we suddenly have an attachment to how well or not so well our people pleasing is accepted.

On the other hand, if we accept that people pleasing is plain and simple part of our DNA, and you give with zero agenda or secondary gain, people pleasing is one of the most delightful, impactful and meaningful things we can do.

Think about it….how good does it feel to be acknowledged by someone else, smiled to, or even let into a cue. It is a beautiful moment between two people who will never see each other again. The relationship lasts of all of a few seconds.

These are the moments, we sometimes fail to realise, how much impact we can actually make.
Try eliminating people pleasing from your life and see how if you can still be happy, be joyous and experience meaningful contribution. I have tried, it seems impossible.

I hope this episode has pleased you.

Love Joe.

 

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