What if everything that showed up in your life was designed and placed there by you for a purpose?

To reclaim, to remember who you really are…

Everything shows up in our lives so we can make a choice. A choice of who we want to be. A choice which moves us closer to love, or closer to fear. Fear is the domain of the ego. Love is the domain of our soul. If we choose to react, we become a slave to our emotions. We become dominated by our ego. Fear becomes king of our psychological domain. All anxiety and depression issues are extensions of fear. Our soul cannot be anxious or depressed. Love is the existential domain of our soul.

In every moment we can choose. Our lives are filled on a daily level of many micro moments. It was literally just the other day I witnessed a micro moment. I was standing on the corner of two streets and a big truck was turning a corner and had to stop in mid turn to give way to a pedestrian. The car behind the truck tooted in a very angry way to the truck. Oth...

Every iota of experience is filled with the colours and flavours of our emotions. The quality of our lives is absolutely determined by the quality of our experiences. The quality of our experiences is amplified or minimised by our emotions. Our emotions are our lives. Fascinatingly, our emotions are not automated. Our emotions do not automatically respond to facts.

Our emotions respond to our interpretation of the facts.

The key word is ‘interpretation’. In other words, our emotions are manufactured by the meaning we give our thoughts, and our thoughts are merely what we think is happening in that experience. For example, you are walking down a busy local street and you see your friend across the road. You wave at them and they fail to wave back. What do you think just happened? What is our interpretation of what just happened? What is the meaning you assign to that. Right there is a pivotal moment. The meaning you give that moment is a psychological portal, a doorway to your rea...

We are all on a journey from ambition to meaning. Within the worlds of ambition and meaning, there are journeys within journeys. Sitting at the core of these two worlds there are the identity phases we evolve through.   

Our identity, the single most powerful force in the human condition. This is because we will do all we can to remain consistent with our identity. Any inconsistency and we can feel intense emotional pain. For example, there have been many people who define themselves by their careers and then suddenly lose their jobs. For many, this can turn into a crisis. If I am my career and now that has been taken away from me, I will feel the pangs of pain. The very thing that defined me, that I would remain consistent with is now no longer there. I now have an inconsistency between how I see myself and what I am not doing. This can lead to an identity crisis – a discussion for another time.

The ambition driven world is a journey about growing up, an expansion of responsibility....

Psychologically, there are two worlds we live in. How things and people seem to be (outer world) and how we feel and see ourselves in this world (inner world). The outer world is our interpretation and our inner world is a knowing. When we become more loyal to our outer world we begin behaving and making decisions that are influenced by external sources with their own agendas, hidden or open. Becoming a slave to outer world needs causes us to behave the way we are meant to based on media, advertising, social media, movies, and perhaps people in your life who don’t truly know you.

It is impossible for anyone to truly know your inner world experience. Think about it, there is nobody in your life who knows or has access to parts of your inner world which you know intimately. For example, my wife Silvana and I and have known each other since 1993. We are very close. You could say that we know everything there is to know about each other. I would completely agree with that. Well, hold on, ...

A crisis in life, whether that be in health, finances, relationship or career, can be likened to a psychological tremor through to a psychological earthquake. The strongest structures remain standing in an earthquake and the weakest structures fall and disappear for ever.

Our psychological earthquakes clarify what matters most in our lives and which relationships are the strongest and which are perhaps not what we thought. A real relationship can handle robust conversation about any topic.  A strong relationship can aggressively tackle any topic and not the person.  

Many have been experiencing psychological earthquakes, losing businesses, relationships and in some cases their lives. Life will sometimes produce tremors. Tremors are like warnings. Warnings of changes we may need to make. Tremors wake us up to our priorities, causing us to perhaps think differently about how we live. 

Crises of any kind, amplify who we were already heading into the crises. I have noticed people who we...

It has been said that love is blind. Any reasonably intense emotion will blind us. Have you ever been standing at your pantry door looking for the salt whilst in an intensely flustered state? Where’s the salt? Right in front of you! Did you see it? No!!! Why? Because any form of intense emotion, whether it be anger, frustration or despair blinds us. On the other hand, positive good feeling emotions open our eyes! We can see again!

Despair is an extension of fear. Fear of the future, fear of uncertainty. Despair also tends to influence where we focus on our timeline. In despair, we tend to focus on how things used to be. How good things used to be, and even more so how things are no longer the way they used to be. By focusing on the past, we are blind to new possibilities. Hope, on the other hand, opens our eyes to the future. Typically, hope is defined as having a positive expectation of our future. Hope is having something to look forward to which in turn adds energy and vibrancy to ...

One of the reasons why so many people suffer various versions of anxieties, depressions, and general low self-worth and lack of confidence is because they are emotionally and spiritually isolated. They may have plenty of people around them and have been able to figure out how to fit in, but on the inside don’t feel they belong.

We can all fit in by simply mimicking the behaviours, language, and attitudes of those groups. Sometimes fitting in can be the direct opposite. Go quiet, not contribute and basically be physically present, uttering all the right noises, but on the inside, you couldn’t be more out of alignment.

If all we have are groups of people we hang out with where we are completely outsourcing our power and character to the whims of the ‘needs’ of these groups, it is inevitable that we will get to a point where we can’t take it anymore. In the extreme of this people, disappear from these groups never to be seen again. They simply stop showing up. In the super extreme of th...

The most important journey we will ever embark on is one of ambition to meaning. This journey is hallmarked by shifting identity phases. Ultimate, long term, and the deepest growth does not come from what we do or accomplish, but from who we are becoming and evolving into. Our soul thrives on continual transformation and growth.

This journey is hallmarked by an ever-changing shift of focus and attention. This means, as we become more emotionally and spiritually mature, our lives become less about ourselves and more about others. We realise that life is not about gathering and experiencing more and more pleasure, but about connecting with deeper meaning, and sharing this with others.

Our chief desire has never been to have more pleasure, but to have more meaning. When we lack meaning, we overcompensate with more pleasure. We achieve meaning by being of value to someone else. This is the journey of ambition to meaning, the journey of a shift in priorities, also known as our values. Our...

A common problem experienced by many is suffering at the hands of their own thinking. We don’t realise that we are the creators of all our problems. This can be very difficult to see once the horse has bolted. That is, once the problem or drama has been created and being experienced we get caught up in the drama of it all and it seems ludicrous to even suggest that we created it. That is understandable.

However, we all have perfect futures. The mission is to make sure that will still don’t have the same problems in a year’s time. Sharon Pearson’s highly regarded book, “Ultimate You” encourages us strongly to replace our safe problems with risky problems.

A safe problem is unresourceful drama which holds us back and hurts us. When we are victims of our own short term thinking we create safe problems. Examples of these are procrastination, sabotage, putting on weight, playing the victim and so on. Safe problems have instant gratification. Have you ever been really nervous or even...

The most crucial conversation we can ever have is the conversation we have with ourselves on a daily basis. This filter-free, raw, unedited edition of our inner truths impacts our life experience, life situations and all relationships more than anything. The truth of where we psychologically live is determined by our inner reactions to life.

We become what we react to.

What we react to in life is a reflection of the themes that most often show up in our inner dialogues. To grow, develop and harness the awareness of uncritically observing what we react to, is a crucial skill in creating any form of change. The level of our inner dialogue flavours not only every experience we have, it also flavours the experience others have of us.

Most inner dialogues have become so habitual that we don’t even notice them. We don’t notice the impact it’s having on our life, and we then falsely conclude that life is ‘just how it is.’

For example, if our inner dialogue goes something like ‘I am an idi...